ahem

Oh FFS. 

 I ordered from this jackass specifically because it said 'FEDEX' because I have had endless infuriating problems - both apparent thefts and repeated misdeliveries - with USPS, so I carefully avoided USPS - or so I thought - by buying from this ass-clown.  Well more fool me.

 EDIT, much later: not too surprisingly, the seller issued me a refund after holding on to my money for three weeks and never shipping anything. Then they gave me a a very unprofessional song and dance about how their personal problems prevented them from effectively communicating with their "warehouse people" (if they have a warehouse, I am a Klingon) but really it was actually the warehouse people's fault and blah blah blah I have no more fucks to give.

 So then I figured out I could get it from the local Harbor Freight store for much less.  Forgive me father, for I have been an idiot.