I cannot translate Chinese to English...

 ...but I can translate Chinglish to English, and it seems to me this is a needful service. <_<

 By the way, I am not pointing and laughing at anyone for having poor English skills, no, not ever, because I don't speak ANY other language - I would be a terrible hypocrite, and I am frequently disappointed in myself for not having picked up a second language.  So anyone who speaks a second language - even marginally - gets only respect from me.

 No, I am pointing and laughing at the business who paid someone to do localization, and got THIS in return:

About this item

• ✅ Knife Sharpening Kit: the whetstone size 8.5 x 3.5 x 1.9 inch for whet stone set, the shipping weight is 2.5 lb. The premium quality knife sharpener stone set contains one dual side grit in 1000 and 6000, non-slip holder base with rubber gasket, angle guide, flattener stone, and a printed user guide.
• ✅ Sharp Function: the best knife sharpening stone could sharping all kitchen knife knives, chefs' good choice. It have same functioning as the other kind chef sharpnerer, king whetstone, diamond sharpeners, cutlery kershaw sharper, steel knife sharpeners, piedra para afilar cuchillos wet stone, katanas, sword, arkansas, nagura naniwa, cerax onion, norton, strop, tycano system and other hand-made metal sharpeners.
• ✅ Chef's good choice for kitchen knife. It is a good gift / gifts for men whom loves cooking. The whetstone sharpening set is also widely used for sharpening machete, whittling knife, hatchet, forged knive, throwing axe, plane, clipper, ruixin glass, ikon, afilador, cocina, lain, wicked and kamikoto shaperners speedy.
• ✅ Best Holder for Sharpener Stone Kit. The stone is classified as wet stone, water stone, whetstone, whet stones, of which to be hold in the bamboo base holder, with non-slip rubber base, it make the sharpeners in a stable position and sharping the knives edge quickly. No honing oil is required.
• ✅ Global Usage. The premium whetstone in good combination of 1000/6000 grit could sharpen all knife blade to make the knife use widely, the 1000 grit could remove the dull or damaged blade easily, let it flatten in line, the 6000 grit could remove the burr during sharpening and make it sharp!  

 "Sharpnerer."  By the way, using oil or water is nearly always a good idea, even with aluminum oxide manufactured stones like this, as the fluid helps keep the removed material suspended or even washed away, rather than collecting in the pores of the stone and slowing down material removal.

NOTE: I am _not_ an expert sharpnerer.  If you are, and you know differently from what I just wrote, please do @ me, the day I am unwilling to learn or admit that I'm wrong (in general, ahem) that day you can stick my in the ground.*

 So close, and yet, so far... seems to me they actually used more words than necessary, perhaps in an effort to be fancy... but it just comes across as word salad.

 I'm thinking they could probably have saved a few cents on the "printed user guide" as well, unless it's all pictures, Ikea-style, knowutimsayin'? @_@

 By the way, spoken Chinese may be one of the few spoken languages which is actually harder to learn than spoken English, possibly because of the five tones thing.  Mad props to anyone who can speak Chinese even half-assed.

__________________________________________________________
*hey you know what's totally cool and completely unrelated to
this post?  It just became legal in this state (Colorado) to do "body
composting" which is to say, decomposing human remains naturally,
without a box, and then actively returning the fully decomposed
remains to the natural environment, or in some cases, even agriculture!
 That's for me, you fuckin' betcha. When my wife wakes up and I tell
her, she will literally be thrilled, it will literally make her day. 
I can't wait. I love doing shit like that. ;)

Ach, Digression #2:  And we must find ways to do that - make each
other's day - for each other, everywhere, y'all.  This world will grind
you into hate-paste if you don't fight back with love and art and
music and beauty; this is a moral imperative.
*cough*
 Just thinking out loud, sorry.